From Sailor Moon Flash!
| Featuring: | Teaki, Daichi, Kenrou, Toshiro, Binshou |
| IC Date: | August 2002 |
| Status: | Completed |
| Summary: | Some things you learn from the starseed. Some you ... learn along the way. |
"- so then Sensei went on about something that some Chinese guys said about seven thousand years ago or something, but it was all about horses and rats and whatever, so I wasn't listening. The thing is, she said that there are like four guardian gods for the directions."
Shunran Teaki paused triumphantly, and looked around the table to see who was impressed by his smarts. Unfortunately no one looked to be awed, or even paying attention; Daichi was still looking glumly at his very boring frappucino (Mokushi-san the barista had looked down her nose at Daichi's suggestion of a raspberry-banana pepper-coffee ice cream treat), Toshiro was playing a video game (apparently also losing, to judge by his scowl), and the old guy was staring with intense concentration at the two biscotti that Daichi was making him eat.
Only Binshou was looking at him, and this was totally not cool, since Binshou probably already knew what Teaki was driving at.
"HEY," Teaki said. "Seriously, this is cool. See, I'm a dragon."
This got Toshiro's attention. He hit the pause button on his game and looked up. "What was that?"
"I'm a dragon," Teaki explained. "Or, at least, the guardian of the east is. Zoisite equals guardian of the east equals me equals I am a big badass dragon-thing that is totally cool and suave and all the girls dig it."
Toshiro raised an eyebrow, and put his game away. "Say on, young squirt. I think I read something like this in a manga once."
"Yeah, probably," Teaki dismissed. Manga were never as cool as real life; there was no manga hero ever who could possibly be as pimpin' as Teaki himself. "Hey, Daichi -"
Nothing, said the old guy, but Teaki caught the edge of his smile out of the corner of his eye, and glared back. He didn't have to call Daichi "Daichi-san" if he didn't feel like it, and anyway it made Daichi uncomfortable. If the old guy weren't such a jerk he'd realize this.
"Know what my man Binshou is, Daichi?" Teaki went on. He grinned at his friend, and said, "Binshou's the guardian of the west, right, so he's a white tiger. Bad ass."
Binshou blushed, and attempted to hide behind his chai tea latte. It was noticeable for being the only drink on the table that did not have Mokushi Oki's neat, precise kana on the cardboard cup indicating that the drinker thereof was "A CERTAIN RUDE CUSTOMER WHO DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO READ A MENU PROPERLY." Teaki had no idea why they still came to this Starbucks, anyway, but he was pretty sure that it was because the old guy was a sucker for punishment.
"It's because he's all cute and fluffy and cuddly," Teaki stage-whispered to Toshiro. Binshou blushed harder, and protested quietly that he was nothing of the sort.
"So, what am I, then?" Toshiro asked.
"You're some sissy red bird thing," Teaki said. "Like a peacock, Sensei said, only not blue."
Toshiro considered this, then shrugged. "Fair enough. By the way, squirt, it's a phoenix, not some sissy red bird. Educate yourself. Read some classic literature."
"Oh, what, like some girl manga?" Teaki demanded. "I don't have time for manga, man, I'm busy out keepin' it real."
"it's a good common point of conversation ," Binshou pointed out. " if girls read manga, then maybe you could discuss it with a girl you thought was um ... likeable."
Teaki looked blank. He had better things to talk about with hot babes than books and manga, he felt.
"Anyway, fine, so it's a phoenix," Teaki said. "See, Daichi? Your Shitennou guardians are totally badass! And we are so badass that they totally made up legends about our badassery and gave us like ... um... Binshou, gimme the word."
"totem animals?" Binshou supplied.
"Right. Totem animals, to show people of a later day how amazing we are." Teaki struck a pose, narrowly avoiding Toshiro's double-shot espresso. "It's totally obvious why they gave me a dragon, right, Zoisite is always the coolest most mackinest guy around."
Daichi took a sip of his frappucino, put it down, and looked sadly at it. It was clear from his expression that plain vanilla was not the ice cream of choice for the discerning frappucino drinker. "Okay," he said, leaning back in his seat. "So Aki-kun's a dragon, green and spring-like. That's neat. And Toshi-kun's a phoenix red peacock thing. Appropriate, and also kind of weird. And Bi-kun's a white tiger. That's great, Bi-kun, except that you're going to have to work on your roar -"
"did you know that the snow tiger actually has no roar at all? he makes only a snarl or occasionally a growl that seems more like an amplified purr," Binshou said.
"Right," Daichi said. "Good job." He grinned at Teaki. "So? What's Ken-kun, then?"
Toshiro, who had presumably read some manga explaining this, winced and looked away. Binshou, who also knew the four beast gods, bit his lip and readied himself for his major duty as Nephrite, i.e., keeping Kunzite from killing Zoisite.
Teaki chortled. "It's awesome - hey, old guy, listen, this is hilarious - he's some reptiles getting it on!" He laughed with delight, going on until he realized that he was the only one laughing.
"What's the matter with you guys," he complained. "That's the funniest thing in the whole world."
The old guy smiled peaceably and said, "We are indeed most pleased that Shunran-kun has devoted such thought into both his cultural symbolism and the trappings of his ancient duty, although We would be more pleased had he thought to note such important distinctions as 'tortoise' and 'serpent', as opposed to merely 'reptiles', as well as the traditional reading of the guardian of the north as the dark warrior Bishamon, occasionally known as Tamon, the god of war and wealth."
"See?" Teaki said triumphantly. "Even Amakusa-jii thinks it's funny, that he gets a SNAKE and stuff."
There was a subtle relaxation amongst the other sitters at the table as they realized that no bloodshed was, in fact, incipient. Toshiro sighed. He ought to have known better; of course Boss would've already known what the guardian beast of the north was, and also what it was traditionally depicted as doing.
"So, what am I, then?" Daichi asked, smiling. "I get to be something neat in the middle, right?"
"I dunno, something weird," Teaki said, shrugging. "Sensei said it was something like a whole bunch of things mished into one beast and it could grant wishes and stuff." He frowned, trying to remember. Like he had nothing better to do than pay attention in class. But then, this was for Daichi, and he could totally pay attention to something cool for Daichi -
He beamed. "Right, I thought so! It's a - uh uh uh - a queer one!"
Daichi and Toshiro looked baffled. "A what, now?"
"We believe that Shunran-kun refers to a kirin, which is indeed a pertinent deity to be analogous to the Prince."
Teaki smirked. "Right, a kirin, just like snakey-pants over there said."
There was dead silence. Daichi groaned, and prepared to go get some extra napkins and possibly some band-aids from Oki-chan at the register; Aki-kun had been doing so well, and then he got seized by the moment, as always.
"Shunran-kun, a word with you."
